HER HAPPINESS OR HER LOVE ?

Her Happiness or Her Love?

SR Fiction : Short Story

“Our parents tell us that you are father of all human beings, then how can you make your child suffer so much? She is really in pain. Please help her” he begged god, his hands joined, eyes watering and his heart broken. He was in temple, facing stones, talking to a statue. He went there daily, once in morning and in the evening. And there every day he begged God for her Happiness. His prayers were unselfish, always for ‘her’. ‘Her’ the girl he truly loved but she loved someone else, and that ‘someone’ did nothing except using and hurting her.

“So did he hear your prayers today?” a beggar who sat outside the temple asked him, he sat there and saw the boy crying and asking for something every day, it had become a routine now. “No” boy said, sobbing. 

“What do you want from him?”

“Her Happiness!” boy said.

“But here people ask for themselves not for others, what makes you unselfish?”

“I love her”

“Oh, so I am talking to a Romeo” boy felt the urge to walk away but he couldn’t, that beggar had some kind of aura around him, as if concrete road imprisoned his feet.

“No my name is Shalu”

“Witty Name, so Shalu that ‘her’ is your sister or mother?”

“None” . “Relative?” . “No”

 “Oh Girlfriend right?” In his inquiry Shalu understood that how special those relationships are which has no relation in reality, in norms of society. Love binds them, and that’s make them honest.

“No not even girlfriend, one sided love.”

“Oh God, I am talking to an unconditional lover for first time. Prayers here are like ‘Please make that girl fall for me’ ‘Please make my business grow’ else ‘Do some magic so that she allows me in her bed’ and even worse.” “I don’t have much experience about love but I will say  that only Honest and Special people can be unconditional lovers, means how beautiful acts of nature it is where you are ready to give everything you have without asking anything in return, you must be proud for yourself” beggar smiled. “Hmm” Shalu said in dismal. Soon beggar ran out of questions, he knew what he wanted to, as if concrete had sudden breakup with feet, he felt the necessity to get back home.  He started walking out of the gate meanwhile

 “Hey Shalu” beggar called.

“Yes?” he turned back.

“Can you please fill this bottle? Actually I am disabled, my left leg is paralyzed. I am thirsty and water area is behind the temple, a big circle to walk, and I can’t, so would you please” his request melted Shalu’s heart. He thought of an Idea.

“Let’s have a walk!” Shalu smiled “Although you might be bored of sitting at one place”

“But I can’t walk”

“Do you see that statue there?” Shalu pointed to God’s Murty.

“Yes” “That statue has given me two shoulders, like everyone else” Shalu said. Hearing this beggar was extremely elated.

Shalu lifted him from his wheel chair, he felt his thin skinny arms, and he rounded them around his shoulders. They started walking, beggar’s half weight was on Shalu and half on his own right leg. “This is what we need in life to get somewhere, half support from someone for our journey” beggar said. “Yah, that’s what I have been asking God, but I think he has gone deaf” Shalu said, beggar smirked.

They walked a huge circle of temple and water area came. He carefully made beggar sit on grass and asked for bottles. Beggar took out two, both were of recycled plastic. “You shouldn’t drink in this stuff, it causes cancer!” Shalu said worried Beggar was startle at this reaction and he said

“Brother, first thing no one talks to a beggar, you talked. Second is no one shares their personal life with a valueless beggar, you shared, you added me value. Third was a shock! no one has ever helped me, you helped and to my wonders you held my body gave me support and made me walk! It would sound insane but I haven’t walked since 6 months. While walking with you I was able to see two gods, one in that statue and another who was helping me to walk.” “You really made me feel special, see I am crying, I have always cried due to poverty but this time this tears are of happiness. Please don’t care about me so much, I am not habitual” he was sobbing.

To his surprise even Shalu had tears “No one has ever called me that ‘almighty’, don’t you ever say that again. I am following my heart, nothing else!” He went to a nearby store, purchased two new bottles of Tupperware, filled it with water, gave him and decided to walk away but “She is lucky” a voice came from behind…

 “I am ready to fulfill your wish but on one condition” a heavy wave of wind blew, plucking dry leaves to his feet, concrete again played its role and he felt stuck, unable to move. He turned back and saw beggar in Krishna’s avatar. God in his boring formal, crown at head, yellow garments, strings of beads in neck, ornaments all around, tilak in forehead and flute in hand. Standing in his signature pose, playing flute, eyes closed and legs crossed.

“Holy fuck! Today I admit there is no better actor in this whole universe except you!” Shalu was bewildered with the magnificence he saw. His eyes wide open, mouth made an ‘O’, heart puling passionately.

“Ha.. Ha.. Ha..” Krishna laughed “So my Shalu, I am proud of you”

And this could be the only reason a human being has ears. Shalu falls at God’s feet. God stood him up and hugs him and says

“Der hai , Andher nahi” (its late, but not darkness)

Shalu smiles with hundred tears, Krishna clams him down. He takes his head in his lap and quiets him, with his words of wisdom, how magnificent this creator is, how beautifully he plays role of my mother now, how thoroughly he know my mother’s act when I am sad, Shalu thought.

“Tamewa Matta Piita Tamewa” Krishna said “Forgot this?”

 “Ha ha ha.. You are great..” Shalu said, standing up from God’s lap.

“You are me, you are my greatness” God says.

“I don’t know what to do, what to act, what to say..” he fumbled.

Lord smiled “I have come here to fulfill you wish, ask what you want, whatever you will ask will be granted”

Not a trillion dollars, not a BMW or Mercedes, nor billions of fans following, none of this came to his mind “Her Happiness” he said the very next second.

“Ok if you want this, I am ready to give.” Shalu was excited and his happy heart knew no limits. “I will not give her just happiness but permanent happiness, mental piece. That so called enlightenment which ‘Bhudda’ achieved after years of meditation.” Shalu felt like dancing and yes he danced, he lost control. Maybe it was Krishna’s naughtiness.

“But I have a choice” Lord said stopping the dancer “A choice only for an unconditional lover”

Happiness at its peak catches insanity “I don’t want any choices, just take away all her sorrows. She fears about society, what will people say and think. And most importantly her memory of her lover, it hurts her endlessly. She cries there, it hurts here.”

“Choice is ‘Her Happiness or Her Love’” Lord said, it caught Shalu’s attention and his vulgar dance got an end. “If you choose her love then she will be in love with you forever, the way you have imagined her as your girlfriend, the way you want her to be your wife and yes she will also be that loving mother of ‘Dharma’ the daughter you thought of’, but there is no surety of enlightenment or peace. If you choose her happiness then she will permanently be happy and at peace.” It was not choices it was god’s question paper. Shalu thought of her being with him, holding hands, eating her favorite pizza, long drives, holding her newborn baby in his hands, looking in her eyes, smiling infinitely and multiplying dreams but then suddenly in climax of happy dreams tragedy occurs, her crying face came in front of him. The very next moment he says

“Her Happiness” “Although I don’t want anyone’s help to make her fall for me, if I DESERVE HER SHE WILL BE WITH ME.” Shalu said and God was surprised at this although he knew all.

“Ok, fine, but now there is a condition” he made question paper, hardest. “Now what? Come on God please ‘Her Happiness’ Whatever your conditions are I’m ready ” Shalu requested.

“First listen dear, if you choose ‘her happiness’ then she will never ever love you back, she will forget you, all you memories of friendship with her will disappear from her mind, you will be nothing more but a stranger to her!” “Do you still agree?”

Shalu couldn’t believe what he heard, he breaks down falls on his knees, his tears fades his visions. “Grant me some time to think” he said in shivering voice. “Take all your time” God said, feeling same sorrow in his heart.

Firstly he tried controlling his tears but then he burst out into streams and rivers, he cried and cried badly, like a two year old baby. His mind flooded with thoughts about how first time he met her, he visualize about her big black eyes, her thin face, her red lips, her tears, her sobs, her mood swings, her sudden insanities, her innocence, her lies, her cries. All those surprises he planned for her. And after every surprise the way she got elated and smiled forgetting all her pains.

The only thing an unconditional lover, a true lover will want from the girl he loves will be her company, togetherness, nothing else. And now for her happiness god wanted to take away that also.

I have nothing of you which I can call mine, except the time and togetherness we spent in solitude. You never loved me, I know it was for that ‘someone’ you loved, but it’s fine. I cannot be daddy of your children, its fine. I cannot be son in law of your parents, its fine, but I am thankful to them for creating you, I love them as I love every single person related to you. We both have no relation which bodies have; maybe it’s something beyond bodies here. Only thing that I have of you is our memories, our togetherness. Please don’t go; please don’t take away that only thing of ‘ours’. I love you and you don’t have to. But just stay near, please don’t go.

He remembered what he said her when she had decided to leave the country after his lover broke up with her. She was his good friend but never his girlfriend. He loved her from the beginning she didn’t and best thing is that he never expected. When he requested her she cancelled her flight and continued her friendship with him.  And now God want to take away that ‘togetherness’ in return of her Happiness. 

“Her Happiness!” Shalu said with a smiling face.

“But she won’t ever remember you; maybe you won’t ever see her again!” God tried more shocks but now Shalu was smiling and firm on his decision.

“You can take away my eyes, make me blind. I grant you my ears make me deaf, Make me look ugliest, take all my beauty, whiten all my hair, make me old man of 100 years, take away all my teeth, give me cancer, give me AIDs, paralyze all my body, torture my body on fire, torment my soul with black magic, but just MAKE HER HAPPY” Shalu said smiling with tears looking straight in god’s eyes.

“Why?” God asked, his heart smiling.

“You” “Enlightenment is possible only when the greatest unconditional lover loves you, only his love can fill someone’s soul with wisdom. And the greatest unconditional lover is non-other than you. So when I choose ‘Her Happiness’ you will love her infinitely, and when she has you, I can die in peace seeing her eternal smile.”  

“Her Happiness Sirji! Lock kiya jaye” Shalu jested.

Krishna smiled “Tathastu”.

…“She is lucky” a voice came from behind. Shalu turned back and looked at beggar.

“So you again changed your dress? Krishna!” Shalu said looking at beggar. “Krishna? Who Krishna? Have you gone mad?” beggar was shocked at his insanity. “Come on man, that’s enough, we just talked for so long!” “I think you need to take rest” beggar said.

“I am and I am not, so I manifest so I am, but I am not”

 A voice came into his ears, Shalu smiled and went back home.

...

Next day

He could hardly sleep that night. From his window he looked at her house and tears scrolled down his cheeks. “Its ok man” he started talking to himself “See, you love her, so you have to let her go if that’s for her good future”

“But I deeply love her” a voice originates within, “Yes but you can’t stay together”

“What about all those efforts I did for her?” “You did it from her happiness and now you have to do this last effort for her permanent happiness”

“How will I live without her?” “By seeing her smile for your entire life”

“I really love her” “So prove it to god by letting her go”

He fights a long battle with himself, for hours and finally faints crying.

…

“Taxi!” he calls, looks at her window with a rare combination, tears and smile, he leaves.

He reach airport as he had decided to leave the country forever, the only possible way to

‘Let her go’

‘The flight has arrived, passenger please proceed..’ announcement occurs but his ears goes deaf, his body loses control, he starts walking towards plane. He put on his sunglass but tears are unstoppable. He enters the cabinet and then suddenly a voice comes from …

“Shahil….” He knows this voice very well. Its only my imagination, he thinks.

“Shahil…. Shahil….” This time voice is louder and with a lot of fear. He feels the urge to get into pane but this time airport imprisoned his feet.

He turns back and she hugs her, tightly.

“What the hell do you think of yourself?” “How dare you thought to leave me” she says crying, her small nonviolent punch and her warm body made him feel better.

“I didn’t understand” he said, completely flabbergast.

“I love you” she said, it felt as if earth changed its direction of rotation, as if Pluto replaced Moon and suddenly Caprio and Kate both survived in Titanic.

Soon Shalu remembered about the ‘condition’. He was happy but confused at the same time.

Poornima, ‘she’ was still hugging him and crying.

“I have made a big mistake, for all these years I have been running behind the one who hurt me all time and ignoring the angel of my life who secretly prays for me” Poornima sobbed, how did she know about my prayers, Shalu thought.

“I love you my Shalu, I love you”

His ears completed their purpose of life, his happiness knew no bounds, he was at the top of the world but suddenly a sentence rolled in his mind

 ‘Her Happiness or Her Love?’

He immediately pushed her back, fought back his tears turned around and started moving towards plane cabinet. Life has a weird habit, giving you extreme happiness and taking it back the very next second.

“I am sorry Shalu, please don’t go, I love you” she wailed, Shalu saw security guards running towards her, stopping her from entering the cabinet.

He entered the pane and a voice came in his ears..

“What are you doing?” Shalu knew who it was

“I am doing what you said to” he busted in tears

“My innocent Shalu, I have only fulfilled your wish”

“But I asked for ‘her happiness’”

“I GAVE HER THAT ONLY” god said

“She has good karmic bank, so she has you, and who ever in this universe has unconditional love like you can stay happy for rest of their life.

True Love is next to enlightenment”

Shalu understood the entire exam

 “What should I do now?”

“Dance on the plane! Idiot get out of here and go hug her!”

SHalu ran outside, with thousands of dreams, he saw her sitting on footpath, crying alone, outside the airport. He ran towards her, called her name, she saw him and did the same. They both hugged in center of road. An endless eternal hug. Traffic started to jam but they didn’t care. Soon those angry guards parted them and FIR was launched on both by a arrogant businessman who got late due to their hug.

…

Lock Up

 “This is funny” Shalu said.

“Ya first date in Jail” she said, both laughed.

“But who will do our bail?” she was bit worried.

“I will!” a known voice came from outside, it was that beggar but wait he could walk! he was in tie and coat. He bailed them.

“Shahil meet him, he is Mr Kunnant a counselor and businessman, he is the one who made me understand about your feeling and what’s right for me, last night he was in temple and heard all your prayers. Have you met him before?” she said

Shalu looked into Kunnant’s eyes, smiled and said

“Yes, of course”

“Can you do me a favor?” Mr. Kunnant said.

“Sure” Shalu said

“Can I just get a glass of water?” he smiled.

...

Her Happiness or Her Love?

~ S h a i l  R a v a l