EXISTENCE (philosophy)

EXISTENCE

Philosophy : SR Extremes

'Not a common audience story'

“What do you get by loving her?” his best friend screamed. “She is not the right person for you” his female best friend shouted. “You deserve someone better!” they both said in union, and he had fat tears in his eyes.

His both friends extended their hands “Hold our hand and relax. Come down, don’t jump”. Hero of this story was standing at the edge of a high flyover, with all desires to jump down. Cold wind was slapping his face, his hairs argued and quarreled but the wind won’t listen. He thought about her Soulmate and closed his eyes. Tears streams raced towards his lips, wind blew with all its strengths and the droplets were in air, weightless, misdirection, splitting and then disappearing. He thought about her eyes and her hairs. He jumped down from the bridge; below him he saw possibility of her eyes to every existence. His body became weightless and he got entangled in her hair. He tried to come out, he resisted as always but then her smell performed her roll and he decided to surrender. He surrendered to the entanglement, to her puzzle, to her every riddle, now unsolved, and untouched, left mystical. Suddenly at that very second of surrender in between the moment and time, and in between cause and creation, he discovered ‘exploration’. Not as a process or as curiosity but as her eyes. It looked spherical to square and then to a dot and altering blackness to shapelessness.

“Wake up” god said.

“You fucked me bad there on earth” he said smiling. “Why the hell you didn’t told this all this down there. I would have been fucking alive” he screamed, but he couldn’t cry.

Where was he? Heaven? He thought. Suddenly he was surprised that he couldn’t cry, he couldn’t feel sadness anymore. Am I free from feeling? Of course not, I can still get angry, Wait a second I am weightless, I can’t feel myself, then from where the hell this feeling of anger comes? He thought frustrated.

“Thoughts” god said.

“Shut the fuck up, I don’t believe in you, god” he screamed.

“I am not god, I also don’t believe in god” boy was startled at this point. His mind couldn’t merge what his eyes saw to what his ears heard. Although both his eyes and ears were senses and his opponent was paradoxical frequency. So called ‘he’ or ‘god’ wasn’t visible except the frequency of sound that boy could listen although multicolored blackness was visible.

“Who are you” boy asked, feared.

Someone laughed loud and said “You can’t feel yourself and still you are feared, tell me boy you are feared of what and from whom? The girl you love, yes your soulmate, makes you sad even at this point but you have no tears, tell me why can’t you cry?” “Or” “Why do you love her?” “What do you get by loving her?”

“Who are you?” boy shivered. Not because he was scared but he discovered exploration in that voice’s questions. Eyes of his soulmate came in front of her, her hair prisoned him and her smell intoxicated his soul. He smiled as he rejoiced the ecstasy of his existence. He knew what was it all about but he desired the answer and it came

“Thoughts or Thinking, Love or Loving”

**

“What the hell do you get by loving her” his friend screamed. He was standing at the edge of the flyover with no desire to jump, no tears, no pain, no happiness, no bliss, he felt only a ‘nothing’ of ‘nowhere’ and as he looked down he felt ‘everything’. That every cells from which she was made up of, himself as fiber of her, as her hairs, himself as the reflection she sees in her eyes so called universe, everything as everybody. He scholars himself as her smell and the light that carries it, brings him to her. He finds it extremely stupid and sincerely marvelous. That beautiful hide and seek.

“I am nothing of nowhere yet I am everything of everywhere” he turns to give and answer with a jump, his body get unbalance, both his friend’s has their heart in mouth. Police official has arrived with their jeeps. Below a big trampoline cloth is held by anti-suicide committee. All vehicles are blowing horns and a big traffic jam has occurred. In next seconds hundreds of people gather above and below the bridge.

“See what the fuck you did with your life, they will send you behind bars now” his best friend said. And soon media arrives with their vans and cameras. He went live on local new channels. And that’s what he was actually waiting for.

“That bitch spoiled your life” his best friend started crying.

He cared nothing he was extremely busy feeling the air and the havoc noise, his belief of her as his soul mate was a clear reality, he was fearless now. He heard his friend’s cries and what he said, it also got tears in his eyes, but now they were of happiness, and he said

 “That bitch really made my life, and I have no idea how I will thank her for this”  

“Get down from the edge, you asshole. Do you have any fucking idea about how much rules you have broken by doing this?” a fat police official shouted.

“Shut up bro, and work over your stomach, it seems as a fat ball, I am scared about your wife, does she allows you in bed?” boy laughed.

“You bastard” policeman screamed and ran towards him in anger. Boy got close to him and took away the gun from his pocket and kicked him back. Other policeman ran to arrest him and he pointed gun on his own skull.

“The most bullshit law of this country is that a person can’t kill himself and I will do it if any one of you came close” He warned.

“Hey cameraman, I want to say something, all lenses here please!” they followed.

“I want to see myself there” he pointed at a big digital hording at flyover. They agreed, as they had no choice.

Huge traffic jam, thousands of people, hero on the screen and on all T.V screens with a mike in hand.

“Good Evening humans, Well.. I am Sahil Rathode and I am that asshole who has spoiled your Christmas evening. I am the one who came here to commit suicide and still to your wonders instead of jumping I am giving a speech. Well.. This was not my plan and for first time I am talking publicly to such a huge audience, can I get a huge round of applause before I start?” angry audience took out their footwear and threw on his face. A huge amount of abusive was spoken in union by male audience.

“Ok Ok no problem,

Dear Soulmate this is too you. The day I saw in your eyes I had recognized my other half in it. I feel ashamed to call it love; I would call it ‘you’ ‘your name’. Well I will not take your name entirely as you have your own personal life, you family and relatives. I will call you P or let it be Pooh”

Suddenly girls in traffic jam got interested in his speech.

“First thing, love you, I can’t say ‘I love you’ if I used ‘I’ then there will be two, and now I know love is oneness. The day I saw into your eyes, I didn’t see your body. I have never thought about size of your ass or your breast. It was always something beyond fucking you or squeezing you. It was all about that hug which would bring my heart closer to yours so you could understand that it was about the gap between our heart beats where even the eternity has its EXISTENCE”

A teen girl whistled, some hundreds even clapped. But he cared neither about claps nor about abusive anymore.

“My love is one sided and hence it’s true, now I need no such assurance. I know what it is when I see in your eyes. I had been finding you in temples as a Hindu now as human being I see god in you. Now your body is the temple and inside is your soul where I revere”

“This society will think I have done this publicity stunt to impress you but I wanna say something, ‘you have full rights to never love me, hate me, hurt me, ignore me’ but ‘you have no rights to stop me from loving you’”

Girls on T.V had fallen for him and boys wondered ‘how can a boy be so much unconditional’.

“Dear Pooh I know you have your family and your separate life but whenever you feel no one with you. Or you wanna cry when the person you love hurts you and you have no shoulder for it, always remember god also gave me two. Keep me away from all your happiness, but in your sorrow just one phone call please.” He had tears once again, but now of happiness. His best friends were surprised and totally startled to see this new type of Unconditional Lover.

“So Pooh from this point my life changes, I will be arrested soon, I will be thrown out of my home, no girl would ever marry me btw who care about marriage, and this society, all these people won’t accept me, still who cares.

I just wanna ask for one thing. Ever in this life or should I call it, in this incarnation if you feel this so called love, or ultimate divine for me JUST TELL ME, ONCE JUST JUST JUST TELL ONCE THAT YES SAHIL I LOVE YOU. Even if you are a mother of four kids, I won’t care, even if you have got divorced twice, honestly I won’t care. Even if we can’t stay together, even if I can’t touch you, even if we can never get physical or whatever called romance. Just say me once that YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH ME.” Tears scrolled down his cheeks. Both his best friends had even started crying.

“Well Siddhanth you have always been asking me that ‘What do you get by loving her?’ now I have a strong truth for you… You people might also ask how I can DO this unconditional love or what do you get by doing this.. Well..

If I say I am feeling happiness then I am lying..

If I say it brings me to peace and all that spirituality then again I am lying..

Ask that bird what does it get by flying?

Ask that fish what does it get by swimming?

Sheesay ko Sheesay me kabhi kuch dikha hai kya?

Agg ne kya kabhi khud ko jalaya hai?

Paani ne kab bujayi paani ki Pyass?

Puch lo hawwa se kya hawwa ne mangi kabhi akk bhi saaas?”

She has fat tears in her eyes, she couldn't stop crying. She burst up into wails. She is his Soulmate. She pick up the phone, dials his number...

                        EXISTENCE  

-S h a i l   R a v a l

To Be Continued…